In Retro: "The Bard's Tale" Review (Xbox)

Here's a review I wrote back in the day for what I honestly believe is a very overlooked game that had more than enough charm to make up for its plentiful shortcomings...

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“The Bard’s Tale” in its newest guise resembles the old-school RPG upon which it’s based not at all, and instead leans toward the formula made uber-popular by the “Diablo” series and, more importantly in this case, the “Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance” franchise. That very overused but still addictive style of gameplay gets blended with the goofy humor of 2003’s “Armed and Dangerous,” and, while far from being a classic, the end result is certainly well worth the price of admission – provided you’re not a rabid fan of the original and frown upon the dumbed down nature of this redux.

Strangely, a large reason that the game works at all is its protagonist, the Bard, portrayed by Care Elwes of “The Princess Bride” fame, here donning his best hackney brogue. Although the game allows you to play the Bard “nice” or “snarky,” periodically giving you the option in the midst of conversation, “bad” or “worse” might better describe his potential attitudes, as he’s a selfish, rotten rogue with an all around bad attitude and a smartass demeanor that, strangely enough, makes him intensely likable. The story surrounding him has a few surprises, and the multiple endings are a nice touch, but it’s clichéd – which is exactly how it’s supposed to be. To say this latest tale of the Bard doesn’t take itself very seriously is a bit of an understatement. More often than not, playing through it is a genuinely amusing experience, if not always out and out hilarious.

So, the game is worth playing merely for the title character all by his lonesome, but how is the gameplay? Well, it’s like playing a prettier version of the aforementioned “Dark Alliance” while axing even that game’s minimal depth. Your inventory is managed pretty much without you, meaning that when you find a new and improved weapon you’ll snatch it up immediately and begin hewing away with it. Likewise, there is little need to sell items in “A Bard’s Tale,” as most are automatically transformed into gold that’s already in your coffers, no matter where you are in the world. This alleviates much of the micromanagement that action-RPG enthusiasts enjoy, further limiting the game’s target audience to newcomers and people who would further emphasize “action” over “roleplaying.”

At least the game’s consistent in its approach, because the same is pretty much true of leveling the Bard. No matter which skills you choose to specialize in at the outset of the game, you’re ultimately a melee fighter with summoning capabilities, and by the end every one that plays the game will pretty much have the exact same version of said character. Complex and diverse stats and attributes are absolutely not a part of this experience.

The game stays true to its primary inspiration – no, not the original “Bard’s Tale,” but “Dark Alliance.” They are identical in virtually every way, which is not necessarily a great thing at this stage – after all, “Champions of Norrath,” “Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel,” and “Dungeons & Dragons: Heroes” have all pretty much done this to death. Thank goodness, then, not only for the charming comedic twist, but also for the ability to summon allies into battle, which at least puts a somewhat different spin on this old record. The Bard’s ability to create knights, rats, fireflies, elementals, and other such creatures with his music lends the game an almost real-time strategy type of feel – but he can only summon a handful at a time, and only one of each type. Still, this design decision not only further separates “The Bard’s Tale” from others of its ilk, it is also essential in claiming victory over the countless beasties that would thwart our would-be hero.

“The Bard’s Tale” is also less linear than, say, the original “Dark Alliance,” but just slightly. There are a couple of side-quests of the optional variety, but they are few and far between, further adding to the game’s overall linearity. And, as per usual, the “Dark Alliance” style of hacking and slashing is sporadically addictive and monotonous, depending entirely upon your mood or preference, and apart from this hacking and slashing there’s little else going on.
But charm is the word of the day, and charm is this game’s saving grace, forcing it to rise above its “me too” status on the heels of “Dark Alliance” and its ilk, and it’s bound to put a smile on your face… provided you can cope with the rather bizarre treatment of the source material that inspired this redux.

FINAL SCORE: 7.8 (Good)