"Wet" Review (PS3)

"Wet" is undoubtedly like some guy you knew in high school who tried so hard to be cool he just came across like a dumb ass. This game is nowhere near as "awesome" as it thinks it is, let's just get that out of the way. Everything from its grindhouse-style presentation (which really just serves to thinly mask its outdated graphics) to its soundtrack (sometimes enjoyable but mostly grating) reeks of its devs just trying WAY. TOO. HARD. Still, as for the gameplay itself... Not half bad. Repetitive? Sure. But pretty enjoyable in short bursts.

You take on the role of Rubi Malone, some kind of sword-wielding slash gunslinging bounty hunter who drops as many F-bombs as she can in a desperate attempt to impress you with her badass-ness. Though the game wants you to know that actress Eliza Dushku is voicing its protag, I would personally much rather be LOOKING at the real thing than listening, if you follow me. Besides, it's not like the character ever has anything even remotely interesting to say in a storyline that involves, eventually, being betrayed by one of her employers and setting out on a quest of vengeance. The plot is stylized, yes, but takes too long to get to the point and is ultimately forgettable.

But this is an action game. Is it fun? Yes. Rubi's acrobatic abilities and tight control make her come across like the love child of video game legends Lara Croft and Max Payne -- with a dab of The Bride from "Kill Bill" just to add some flavor. She leaps and bounds, slowing down the world around her as her enemies fall in bloody displays. Guns akimbo, it's cool that when Rubi dives in slo-mo, one of her weapons auto-targets while you the player take control of the other's aim. And slashing your foes to bits with a sword is pretty satisfying too, a welcome melee relief amidst so many bullets. Complete with upgradable abilities, there's a solid action game to be found here.

Too bad that apart from its annoying personality, the game looks pretty bad. All the visual filters in the world can't hide the fact that there are actually games on the Wii that look better than this one does. On top of which, the game slows to a crawl whenever you enter a locked down area, where Rubi must race to destroy several enemy spawning doorways and kill every last foe in the area if she is to move on. In a game that features such cool setpieces as a freeway shootout and a crashing airplane, these segments, which occur throughout, come across as filler. And the game's decision to play (and re-play, again and again) tracks from various musicians instead of score here just makes it worse. Mandatory training sequences time you while you run an obstacle course at various points as well, further slowing what would otherwise be a breakneck pace. It's just frustrating.

All in all, though, "Wet" definitely lives up to its title (which is short for "wetwork," as in getting your hands bloody), and when it works, it works well. It's just too bad the game tries so hard to be cool, and walks when it should be sprinting. Recommended for arcade-minded action fans who can get past its attempts at stylized hipness... and find it a lower price. There's good stuff in here, but sometimes you have to dig through shit to find it.

Final Score: 6.9 (Fair)